Fort Lauderdale's package not wrapped like Miami's

By Christopher Muther, Globe Staff, 03/21/03

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FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — As kd lang coos "Just a kiss . . . just a kiss," I peer up from my Bleu Boy Burger to see a lesbian couple feeding each other the Mary Tyler S'mores. To their right, a slightly more health-conscious muscle queen polishes off the Carmen Miranda fruit bowl. I'm convinced that if Disney World is the happiest place on earth, then this beachside mecca far south of Orlando must be the gayest place on earth.

This is the scene on the patio at Hamburger Mary's on a recent balmy Sunday night. Until this point, my exposure to Florida's gay scene has been restricted to Miami's South Beach, plus one unfortunate evening at a bar in Jacksonville (please, don't ask, and I won't tell). But rumblings about Fort Lauderdale have lured me away from glamorous South Beach, and the rumors appear to be accurate.

"It's much better than South Beach, much better," a friend of a friend informs me one night after dinner in Miami. "Seriously. You'll have more fun. There's not so much attitude. Pick up the bible — it has all the places."

The bible, as it turns out, is not the King James version, but a publication called Hotspots. It's the kind of men's magazine that has a shirtless dude on the cover and more pages containing bar ads (featuring still more shirtless dudes) than anything else. A quick flip through and my destination in Fort Lauderdale becomes apparent. I need to visit a district called Wilton Manors.

What I anticipate is another South Beach, a stretch of Art Deco buildings in beguiling shades of pastel housing a fresh crop of tanned, well-dressed young men. What I get is a stretch that bears more than a passing resemblance to Route 9 in Framingham or Route 1 in Dedham. This is strip mall country.

Even more shocking is a plaza called the Shoppes at Wilton Manors. Virtually every business in this complex is gay. From the Gay Mart to a clothing store called Tops and Bottoms, this place is gayer than Barbra Streisand singing "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever."

With the parking lot jammed (and rainbow stickers as far as the eye can see), the mostly male crowd circulates between a club called Georgie's Alibi, where a drag queen lip-syncs to Celine Dion, and a video bar called Boom, featuring "$5 all you can drink beer, or until we cut you off." It doesn't end there. Across the street is Costello's Restaurant and Martini Bar and another restaurant called Chardees. This homo playland is crowned with a cleverly placed Dairy Queen just a few blocks away.

Either Fort Lauderdale is experiencing a Botox shortage, or the crowd is slightly older than the faces I'm accustomed to seeing in SoBe. The clothes are far more casual as well.

"People in Fort Lauderdale aren't so obsessed with image and appearance," says John Gray, a former Bostonian who was relocated to Fort Lauderdale for work. "You see some of those circuit party boys at Coliseum [another gay club], but the crowd at Cathode Ray and Alibi is more mixed. In general there's more of a sense of community in Fort Lauderdale. It's more diverse and less transient."

"I moved to Miami because I thought it would be gay friendly, and it is," Brian Hurley tells me the morning after my Wilton Manors experience. I'm back in South Beach on Lincoln Road, interviewing the locals under the pretense of shopping (or maybe it's the other way around). "But on a Friday night I usually drive to Fort Lauderdale. It's just more fun."

Naturally, not everyone agrees.

"Fort Lauderdale is like Wal-Mart and South Beach is like Target," self-described retail queen Jesus Cruz tells me outside the Van Dyke Cafe. "You can basically get what you need at either store, but the presentation and the packaging is a lot better at Target, if you know what I mean."

He certainly has a point. Not only is the architecture gorgeous in South Beach, but so are the people. The week I was visiting, the Art Deco District was crammed with the kind of thin, neat European men that can put even the sharpest of gaydars to the test.

Deciding between the two cities, it seems, is simply a matter of taste.

"Usually after an episode of `Queer as Folk' I'm in the mood for Fort Lauderdale," says Hollywood resident Gary Moore. "After `Will & Grace,' I'm ready for Miami. And if I can't decide, I'll just hit both in the same night."

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Stop the clock

The hotels along boisterous Collins Avenue in South Beach are constantly being updated and modernized for ultimate luxury. But a few blocks away, there's a little hotel where the calendar has stopped at 1936. Step into the lobby of the Indian Creek Hotel (2727 Indian Creek Drive, 800-491-2772), and you're greeted by a rush of cool air and the Chordettes singing "Mr. Sandman." The gay-owned hotel was meticulously restored to look as it would have when it first opened in the 1930s, right down to the Norman Bel Geddes-designed furniture (although we suspect the poster for Bruce Weber's "Chop Suey" is not a period piece). The modest rooms are appointed with Art Deco antiques, and the tree-filled courtyard boasts a swimming pool. It's exactly the kind of location David Lynch would flip for if he ever decided to set a film in Miami Beach.

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Christopher Muther can be reached at muther@globe.com. Outbound, his and Amy Graves's column on gay travel, appears the fourth Sunday of the month.