The generations gather

By Daine Daniel, Globe Correspondent, 09/15/02

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An integral part of Ernie and Joan Spence's life is keeping connected, to their extended family and to their many former students. Ernie, 77, worked for the Reading School Department for 35 years, retiring as assistant principal at Reading Memorial High. Joan, 72, taught English at Bedford High School.

"Local family we see all the time," said Joan, but summers include the extended family, with their own three children and the three children of Ernie's sister, Marjorie Wertheimer, who lives in Michigan, and seven grandchildren. (Ernie and his sister grew up in Milton.)

Fifty years ago, when the Spences were first married, they started to alternate summer visits between their home in Reading and Wertheimer's in Michigan. This year they headed west. But for the first time, "I was a passenger," Ernie said. "I always drove, but now I don't have the stamina" because of health problems.

They left the Boston area at the end of June with two carloads of family — their son Harlan of Reading, with his wife and three children, and the Spences with their daughter Linda Griset of Reading, her husband, and two of the grandchildren. The kids communicated via two-way radio. The Spences' other daughter, Betsy Garland, drove up from Louisville, Ky.

Once in Michigan, they spent most of their time at the Wertheimers' summer home in East Jordan, on Lake Charlevoix. There were 24 family members, representing three generations; the youngest was 2, the oldest, 77. Seven tents were used to house the kids — and some of the adults. "We requested not to have tent accommodations," Joan said. Daughter Linda and her husband slept on one of the Wertheimers' sailboats, she said. "They had to paddle out to bed every night."

There were other boats in use as well — a motorboat, a motorized rowboat, four kayaks, two canoes, and one rented Jet Ski.

The families took turns cooking. "This was the first time the third generation didn't have to do anything," Joan said. "We've passed the spatula on.

"It was incredible how well it worked," she said of the gathering, "especially with only two bathrooms."

Before the Spence family matriarch, Daisy Pearl Taylor Spence, died two years ago at age 104, four generations had gathered. The first grandchild is getting married next year, so the Spences are hopeful they'll have four generations present again someday. (Joan, who sews, is making the dresses for the bride and her five attendants.)

One way the family charts its history is by taking "lineup" photographs of the children by age, a tradition started in 1962. "If someone can't be there, the others hold a space and a sign with their name," Joan said.

One night after dinner, a surprise was in order for Ernie and Joan — a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary.

"I had pleaded with them not to do anything," Joan said. "They'd done a huge thing for our 40th. Produced a video, made a quilt, flew people in from all over the place."

Still, the children could not let the event go unnoticed. They put up a sign, popped streamers, and had a cake decorated. The highlight was a quilt made by Linda, transferring family members' photos onto the quilted fabric. The scene at the top is of Ernie and Joan, who were married at the Methodist Church in Newton Centre on July 21, 1952. It shows them leaving for their honeynoon in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, where they visited "a slew of relatives," Joan said.

And that was only the beginning.

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